This isn't mine but it was too good to pass up. This comes from The Strangers "Last Days" section:
In much lighter news, today brings a bracing story of a bird onboard a Metro bus, courtesy of Hot Tipper Madeline: "I ride the 358 to and from work every day, and I have experienced my fair share of weird shit, but today takes the cake. My bus pulled up to a stop, and right away I noticed the woman waiting to board had a grocery cart rigged with milk crates attached to the front of a Razor scooter. She was capable of riding this magic Razor-scooter cart around the city but needed the lift to board the bus. She wasn't wearing shoes. Then the bird on her head started to flap its wings. The bus driver said, 'You know you have a bird on your head?' She replied, 'Yeah, but it's okay.' The bus driver shrugged, and the lift carried her up. She sat in the seat directly across from me, at which point the bird shit on her face. She wiped the bird shit off to one side of her face, where it stayed the remainder of the trip downtown."
12/16/09
Short and Sweet
Nothing lengthy to get into today. However, on the busride home yesterday I overheard the gentleman behind me say the word"Motherfucker" about 148 times. OK so maybe it was like 14 times. And the highlight of his tirade was saying to his companion, "...and I was like Mutha' Fucka', bitch betta gimme my t-shirt. You know what I'm sayin'?" Not really, my friend.
12/15/09
"He was quoting the bible...Revelations...Behold a pale horse...and the man who sat on him was Death...and Hell followed with him." - Tombstone
This was one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies of all time, Tombstone. I say "was" because I can't think of this quote now without thinking of a quasi religious experience I had years ago one morning on my way to work. A man and a woman boarded the bus somewhere around the halfway point of my commute. They seemed pretty benign. They sat down in the middle seats of the bus where it breaks away into an "accordion" style casing to allow the extended buses to jack-knife around corners. A few minutes after they boarded I began to notice the gentleman reading enthusiastically, flailing his arms about and punctuating his sentences with a stern nod of the head. Other passengers began to take notice as well, but being the introverted, passive/aggressive city dwellers that many Seattleites are, most of us were content to ignore his display. My attention was drawn in further, however, as I noticed WHAT he was emphatically reading. The bible. Almost on cue, as if he sensed my realization, he stood up and began to read aloud:
6:8 And behold, a pale horse, and he who sat on it, his name was Death. Hell followed with him. Authority over one fourth of the earth, to kill with the sword, with famine, with death, and by the wild animals of the earth was given to him. 6:9 When he opened the fifth seal, I saw underneath the altar the souls of those who had been killed for the Word of God, and for the testimony of the Lamb which they had. 6:10 They cried with a loud voice, saying, "How long, Master, the holy and true, until you judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" 6:11 A long white robe was given to each of them. They were told that they should rest yet for a while, until their fellow servants and their brothers, who would also be killed even as they were, should complete their course. 6:12 I saw when he opened the sixth seal, and there was a great earthquake. The sun became black as sackcloth made of hair, and the whole moon became as blood. 6:13 The stars of the sky fell to the earth, like a fig tree dropping its unripe figs when it is shaken by a great wind.
6:14 The sky was removed like a scroll when it is rolled up. Every mountain and island were moved out of their places. 6:15 The kings of the earth, the princes, the commanding officers, the rich, the strong, and every slave and free person, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains. 6:16 They told the mountains and the rocks, "Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, 6:17 for the great day of his wrath has come; and who is able to stand?"
"Holy shit" was my first thought while he was reciting Revelations and this doomsday prophecy. And the more he recited, the louder and more animated he became. I think what disturbed me most was not this "Transit Preacher" spouting fire brimstone, but how non-affected ANYBODY was. No one acknowledged his tirade at all. I'm sitting here thinking this dude may very well decide to pull a Christian Jihad and sacrifice us all in the name of "The Lamb" and these people are preoccupied with reading Dan Savage's recent column in The Stranger, and what advice Ann Landers was spouting in this week's P.I. But what I now have come to understand is that they were all, most likely, just as mortified as I was. They chose to feign interest in their papers and coffee as a way to not deal with this unexpected outburst. Except for the guy reading Dan Savage's recent column, most likely about someone questioning their sexuality, because let's face it, that stuff is like a Jerry Springer car wreck. You just can't NOT read it.
6:8 And behold, a pale horse, and he who sat on it, his name was Death. Hell followed with him. Authority over one fourth of the earth, to kill with the sword, with famine, with death, and by the wild animals of the earth was given to him. 6:9 When he opened the fifth seal, I saw underneath the altar the souls of those who had been killed for the Word of God, and for the testimony of the Lamb which they had. 6:10 They cried with a loud voice, saying, "How long, Master, the holy and true, until you judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" 6:11 A long white robe was given to each of them. They were told that they should rest yet for a while, until their fellow servants and their brothers, who would also be killed even as they were, should complete their course. 6:12 I saw when he opened the sixth seal, and there was a great earthquake. The sun became black as sackcloth made of hair, and the whole moon became as blood. 6:13 The stars of the sky fell to the earth, like a fig tree dropping its unripe figs when it is shaken by a great wind.
6:14 The sky was removed like a scroll when it is rolled up. Every mountain and island were moved out of their places. 6:15 The kings of the earth, the princes, the commanding officers, the rich, the strong, and every slave and free person, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains. 6:16 They told the mountains and the rocks, "Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, 6:17 for the great day of his wrath has come; and who is able to stand?"
"Holy shit" was my first thought while he was reciting Revelations and this doomsday prophecy. And the more he recited, the louder and more animated he became. I think what disturbed me most was not this "Transit Preacher" spouting fire brimstone, but how non-affected ANYBODY was. No one acknowledged his tirade at all. I'm sitting here thinking this dude may very well decide to pull a Christian Jihad and sacrifice us all in the name of "The Lamb" and these people are preoccupied with reading Dan Savage's recent column in The Stranger, and what advice Ann Landers was spouting in this week's P.I. But what I now have come to understand is that they were all, most likely, just as mortified as I was. They chose to feign interest in their papers and coffee as a way to not deal with this unexpected outburst. Except for the guy reading Dan Savage's recent column, most likely about someone questioning their sexuality, because let's face it, that stuff is like a Jerry Springer car wreck. You just can't NOT read it.
12/14/09
The Shit Stairs
I have posted about this phenomenon on my Facebook status before but it deserves to be re-hashed as it is...epic and disgusting.
"Broken Glass, EVERYWHERE! People pissin' on tha' street, you know they just don't care."
Grand Master Flash and The Furious Five surely must have been prognosticating when they wrote The Message back in 1982 because they were obviously referencing "The Shit Stairs". The aforementioned is a stairwell that leads from the Mercer street underpass to the bus stop where I start my commute home from work. Adjacent to that bus stop is what I have dubbed, "Homeless Island." It's a grassy knoll with a giant oak that is frequented by transients because of it's tree shelter and relative seclusion. And just like Survivor island you must outwit, outplay and outlast for you will surely be "voted off". Trust me. I've seen it. But instead of having a ritualistic candle snuffing, the other inhabitants simple eject you via slurred yelling, drunken wrestling and in one case assault with a 2 x 4. It is it's own reality show. And as this grassy knoll provides a temporary home, the adjacent stairs have provided a temporary bathroom. Yes, on many an occasion I have plodded towards the stairwell only to be hit with the unmistakable and yet indescribable stench of urine and feces. And as the stairs come into view my horror is confirmed. It's human feces. So the only option is to navigate this excrement minefield as I hop back and forth while trying to suppress my sensitive gag reflex. The rain provides an extra special something to this mess as it seems to "spread" the nastiness over a larger area of concrete. And as you reach the top of the stairs you see the culprit that most likely incited this display. Broken 40's and squashed tall boys. Not in the garbage, mind you. Because the city removed the garbage can in an effort to discourage the homeless population. But those bums are wily and defiant, so they just put their garbage where the trash can used to be. Well played, bums. Well played. And lastly, apropot of nothing, there used to reside a giant bush next to the garbage area. And I swear to god the rats of Nimh relocated there. They would scurry in and out of it, feeding on the remnants of said 40's, tall boys, rotted food and human waste. It was a fine feast for Jenner and Nicodemus I'm sure, but thank god the city removed the bush years ago, thereby removing that little cherry on the Shit Stairs Sundae.
"Broken Glass, EVERYWHERE! People pissin' on tha' street, you know they just don't care."
Grand Master Flash and The Furious Five surely must have been prognosticating when they wrote The Message back in 1982 because they were obviously referencing "The Shit Stairs". The aforementioned is a stairwell that leads from the Mercer street underpass to the bus stop where I start my commute home from work. Adjacent to that bus stop is what I have dubbed, "Homeless Island." It's a grassy knoll with a giant oak that is frequented by transients because of it's tree shelter and relative seclusion. And just like Survivor island you must outwit, outplay and outlast for you will surely be "voted off". Trust me. I've seen it. But instead of having a ritualistic candle snuffing, the other inhabitants simple eject you via slurred yelling, drunken wrestling and in one case assault with a 2 x 4. It is it's own reality show. And as this grassy knoll provides a temporary home, the adjacent stairs have provided a temporary bathroom. Yes, on many an occasion I have plodded towards the stairwell only to be hit with the unmistakable and yet indescribable stench of urine and feces. And as the stairs come into view my horror is confirmed. It's human feces. So the only option is to navigate this excrement minefield as I hop back and forth while trying to suppress my sensitive gag reflex. The rain provides an extra special something to this mess as it seems to "spread" the nastiness over a larger area of concrete. And as you reach the top of the stairs you see the culprit that most likely incited this display. Broken 40's and squashed tall boys. Not in the garbage, mind you. Because the city removed the garbage can in an effort to discourage the homeless population. But those bums are wily and defiant, so they just put their garbage where the trash can used to be. Well played, bums. Well played. And lastly, apropot of nothing, there used to reside a giant bush next to the garbage area. And I swear to god the rats of Nimh relocated there. They would scurry in and out of it, feeding on the remnants of said 40's, tall boys, rotted food and human waste. It was a fine feast for Jenner and Nicodemus I'm sure, but thank god the city removed the bush years ago, thereby removing that little cherry on the Shit Stairs Sundae.
12/13/09
First, a little background on the 358
I wanted to start this blog by putting a little context into Seattle Metro Transit's 358 line. It starts on 3rd and Union which is at the epicenter of downtown Seattle, just a few blocks from the Pike Place Market. The end of the line is in the northern suburb of Seattle, Shoreline. Aurora Ave. (aka Highway 99) is the millieu of the 358 and was the original conduit between all of Seattle. This is where you'll find a bevy of people and places of all sorts of social and cultural distinctions. For instance, between 85th ave. and 135th ave. you'll find a sign on every street corner that reads "Prostitution and drug watch. Liscense plates are being recorded." And ironically enough, usually a pimp, prostitute or drug dealer can be found not far from said signs. Adult stores, hourly rate motels, pawn shops and methadone clinics can also be found clustered within those same blocks. To the south you'll find many of the commuters to be business professionals going through their daily routine, to and fro. As you travel farther north you'll find a more international flare. Korean markets, Pho restaurants (I love Pho btw) and Asian specialty markets. I guess what I'm getting at here is that this particular bus line is a melting pot of people. And what I've found over the past 7 years that I have frequented this bus line is that they all come together on the 358 in what I have affectionately dubbed "People Soup". It really is a rare opportunity to study how different classes and ethnicities of people try to co-exist with one another. Even if it is only for a 45 minute bus ride. I've seen, heard and experienced many things during my tenure on the 358. I've gone from observer to participant under varying circumstances. This blog will serve as a window to those observations and participations. Long story short: This bus can be a an asylum on wheels and thoroughly entertaining. So please join me in my on-going anthropological study of the Seattle Metro's 358.
12/12/09
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