This isn't mine but it was too good to pass up. This comes from The Strangers "Last Days" section:
In much lighter news, today brings a bracing story of a bird onboard a Metro bus, courtesy of Hot Tipper Madeline: "I ride the 358 to and from work every day, and I have experienced my fair share of weird shit, but today takes the cake. My bus pulled up to a stop, and right away I noticed the woman waiting to board had a grocery cart rigged with milk crates attached to the front of a Razor scooter. She was capable of riding this magic Razor-scooter cart around the city but needed the lift to board the bus. She wasn't wearing shoes. Then the bird on her head started to flap its wings. The bus driver said, 'You know you have a bird on your head?' She replied, 'Yeah, but it's okay.' The bus driver shrugged, and the lift carried her up. She sat in the seat directly across from me, at which point the bird shit on her face. She wiped the bird shit off to one side of her face, where it stayed the remainder of the trip downtown."
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