The Shit Stairs

I have posted about this phenomenon on my Facebook status before but it deserves to be re-hashed as it is...epic and disgusting.

"Broken Glass, EVERYWHERE! People pissin' on tha' street, you know they just don't care."
Grand Master Flash and The Furious Five surely must have been prognosticating when they wrote The Message back in 1982 because they were obviously referencing "The Shit Stairs". The aforementioned is a stairwell that leads from the Mercer street underpass to the bus stop where I start my commute home from work. Adjacent to that bus stop is what I have dubbed, "Homeless Island." It's a grassy knoll with a giant oak that is frequented by transients because of it's tree shelter and relative seclusion. And just like Survivor island you must outwit, outplay and outlast for you will surely be "voted off". Trust me. I've seen it. But instead of having a ritualistic candle snuffing, the other inhabitants simple eject you via slurred yelling, drunken wrestling and in one case assault with a 2 x 4. It is it's own reality show. And as this grassy knoll provides a temporary home, the adjacent stairs have provided a temporary bathroom. Yes, on many an occasion I have plodded towards the stairwell only to be hit with the unmistakable and yet indescribable stench of urine and feces. And as the stairs come into view my horror is confirmed. It's human feces. So the only option is to navigate this excrement minefield as I hop back and forth while trying to suppress my sensitive gag reflex. The rain provides an extra special something to this mess as it seems to "spread" the nastiness over a larger area of concrete. And as you reach the top of the stairs you see the culprit that most likely incited this display. Broken 40's and squashed tall boys. Not in the garbage, mind you. Because the city removed the garbage can in an effort to discourage the homeless population. But those bums are wily and defiant, so they just put their garbage where the trash can used to be. Well played, bums. Well played. And lastly, apropot of nothing, there used to reside a giant bush next to the garbage area. And I swear to god the rats of Nimh relocated there. They would scurry in and out of it, feeding on the remnants of said 40's, tall boys, rotted food and human waste. It was a fine feast for Jenner and Nicodemus I'm sure, but thank god the city removed the bush years ago, thereby removing that little cherry on the Shit Stairs Sundae.